I’ve Been Clusterspooged

That’s it. The dating app has been turned off just about a week and a half after it fired up. F—it. That chick was crazy. Sorry for reverting back a bit to high school-speak, but that’s it. What can I do?

Maybe I pushed a bit far, a bit soon, last night with mentioning “a kiss would be nice.” Via text. After this eccentric lady delving into my WeChat history moments was telling me she likes how I look. I had to talk her down then from thinking I was just another foreigner out for a one night stand.

Insanely, we both decided to meet up for breakfast-brunch today. Same place I brought an official first date in 5 years to yesterday. My vegan restaurant friends are by now thinking I must be going off the deep end with these dates (but still my only two since 5 years ago before I met my ex).

Quirky, eccentric, reserved, “conservative”,” her words there. True. A widow for 9 years. I feel for her. I felt a building of something…during the course of our meal. Could this be a restart?

She’s already mentioned how my Chinese wasn’t as good as she expected when I didn’t immediately recognize characters for “latte,” which I’ve never studied.

Soon, she’d said I’m ”太瘦了,” too skinny. But did she mean “too skinny” in the more innocuous African-speak sense OR actually TOO skinny?

It’s obvious I am skinny. But this hits a nerve when presented in such a way. There’s a history there. And who the heck wants me telling them they are TOO fat?

Convo deepened… she asked about siblings. I mentioned two younger sisters. One whose husband died of a drug overdose. How my two sisters are recovered addicts-criminals. Very soon thereafter came the sudden ending to our date. Or, it may as well have been.

“You look like one.”

“A drug addict?” I asked, incredulously.

“Yes. You’re too skinny.”


Head down, I ate my food. She discerned the easily discernible.

I bounced back, a bit.

But the end was nigh.

She apologized, repeatedly as it would turn out. Enroute to the train station, she forced me to let her buy me a coffee. I would’ve loved to have it at Fortunate but I also wanted to “run away,” her words. She read my heart & mind on that one.

I could’ve read my Korea history book at Fortunate today.

Instead, I subjected myself to the offhanded crazed remarks of a sweet, otherwise gentle soul—I think. But, the heck with it.

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