Fucked.

Ever felt this way?

“Have you ever been a part of something that you never thought would end? And then, of course it did…

…I saw my body wash ashore…”

Of course, there were problems. Issues. Concerns.

But also multitudes of memories.

“Kill this slowly fading light…”

Disjointed.

Why did I return to China?

It was for her.

I could’ve kept my mouth shut. But that’s not me. That’s not healthy, right??

“You can’t leave me if I’m already gone…”

(Rise Against)

As she walked out the door suitcase on hand, she showed me the box with brand new Hoka running shoes. She’d just bought them for me as a surprise gift upon my return home to Shanghai.

The moment she left, I couldn’t help but break down in tears looking at the box.