Finding myself yet again at a “turning point”–hear that, history students of mine?–I must decide how to move forward.   [see recent posts, including What the F–k is Wrong With Me?!”]

Life is indeed short. Way too short to be stuck in a job you don’t have passion for. Way too short to spend all your time alone. Too short to just give in to running injuries without fighting your way back. 

I must run. I must travel. I must do something meaningful for this world. Yet it all must be done while living an endless summer. We each should strive for the endless summer; so long as we each live compassionately—mindfully, of humans and non-humans alike. 

Carpe Diem!

Roiling Uncertainties

Single–not necessarily by choice–I find liberty; with a hefty dose of loneliness. Wanting company for weekend outings, I realize perhaps it’s best to be single for now. I am free to roam.

Charlie is here. I will not forsake him. I may need to make a contingency plan, though, in case he cannot roam with me. 

Financially, there are some obstacles to hurdle: 2015 loan, credit card balance to pay down, $32,000 of graduate school loan debt I thought would be forgiven at end of this school year after teaching in inner city schools for 11 years; found out today only $5,000 will be forgiven. 

A job I do not want to go back to. 

Anxious

Anxiety, like that on a race starting line, can consume; even eviscerate. If handled properly, however, one can ride that lightning to achieve great things. 

Feeling, almost suddenly, as though there is not much there for me in New York. Friends and teammates feel so far away.  I must still appreciate each moment.

I must constantly march forward. 

My current NEXT STEPS:

1. Interview via Skype on Sunday with Teaching Nomad organization. I’ve submitted some preliminary applications for English teaching jobs in an assortment of nations, including: Malaysia, Kazakhstan, Taiwan & United Arab Emirates. 

2.  Hope I hear back from ECC teaching organization in Japan regarding my application. 

3. Follow up with two colleagues-friends helping with reference letters. Need to employ a third (definitely not asking my principal).

4. Sign & fax in loan forgiveness form next week to get $5,000 knocked off debt. 

5. Contact Teacher Retirement System about deducting more from each paycheck to ensure I pay off last summer’s loan by June, if not sooner. 

6. Continue applying to international schools through Teach Away in places including: Oman, Saudi Arabia (yes…maybe….possibly?), South Korea, and other locations as they accept applications for January-March 2017. 

7. Run smart, run hard, train wisely–with yoga and thrice weekly gym routines as staples. 

8. See what pans out with my apartment now listed on Air BNB! Just set it up a couple hours ago. 

So, here I am…not so happily single. Definitely NOT job happy–but blessed to have the benefits I have. Soooooo happy, blessedly so, to be running again after a forced month off while in Asia.
Ready to move abroad for an extended period for the first time ever.  Ready to finally become fluent in a second language. Ready to—-meet a wife??

One word to encapsulate these roiling times?

Exhilarating